You won’t enjoy the new MySpace, “unless you’re some kind of necrophile”

“None of it comes together. Nothing works the way it should. Nothing is easy to find, be it Young Jeezy or your neighbor.”

Gizmodo’s Sam Biddle doesn’t mince words in “The New MySpace Review: Just Die Already,” his scathing take on the newest incarnation of the pre-Facebook social network that hasn’t so much “pivoted” as “darted around like a rabid mid-identity crisis squirrel for a while.”
Biddle’s review is rife with verbal gems and you get the sense he’s genuinely in the throes of visceral disgust with the “chintzy web carnival” for “trashy teens” that’s “like looking into the wrong end of a telescope.” His thorough walk-through highlights the site’s strengths, confined primarily to aesthetics, while identifying some of its more fundamental usability issues.

It’s beyond worth reading, both for actual informational value and because, like brother-site Deadspin’s The Hater’s Guide to Notre Dame, there are few things quite as satisfying as a well-conceived rant.

I only wonder, however, if Biddle’s seemingly rock-steady assessments could be wobbled a bit by something expressed in the comments section that seems to cut to the heart of the unlikely factors that contribute to any social media platform becoming a success.

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According to Biddle MySpace is a corpse–but does she look cool enough that people might stay at the funeral a while longer?

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